"Are you crying?" "There is no crying in......"

Finish that sentence. I can't tell you how many times in the last few months I have said it in my head. At work, at home, in the car. Everyday I have a new challenge, a new pain that is different from the day before, and yet, I get up every morning groaning, shuffling to the coffee pot and wondering if this pain somewhere in my body is just an ache that will go away as the day goes on or will it follow me until I go to bed. Then the cycle starts again the next day. No one will ever notice the physical pain I am in that I have learned how to cope with the pain. I still have to get up, go to work, be a mom, a wife, a friend, and still act like that there is nothing wrong except the ache of the "good knee" is the sign of arthritis and knowing, as my orthopedic Dr. puts it, "I'm screwed." Now, the point to all this wishy washy rant is tell you the two ways I have solved my mental debasing I go through everyday.

1. I have lost all sympathetic nodding to others that complain about their aches and pains, but do nothing to help themselves.

a. Do not look for me to agree with you. I am not listening to you. All I am thinking is you are complaining way too loud because I can not hear myself judging you. (Thank you Laura for that great quote) That is right people, I admit it! I am not saying nice things in my head about you. I am thinking that you are not helping yourself by getting every procedure done in the book, or getting a second opinion from another Dr. because the first Dr. did not tell you what you wanted to hear. Sometimes it really is tendinitis in your butt. Yes, this is possible, it is called an inflamed bursitis sack that sits by your hip bone. The best treatment for this is regular visit to your physical therapist, massage therapist because inflammation is normally caused by wear and tear. No, I am not a Dr. This is only an opinion through my experience and I recommend anyone who is concerned to go to the Dr. for the diagnosis.

2. Pay it Forward.

 a. Help those that need the help. My friend recently found out that she had a Cam impingement in one hip and a Pincer impingment in the other. She just got done with her first hip arthoscopy. She healing nicely, and she is even going to the physical therapist that I recommended to ghelp with her first bout of healing. The point is that I took my negative thoughts and helped her by answering questions she had and just being there for her. Her impingment just happened. There was no reason towards why her hips caused the impingment it was just wear and tear, but as a person that had been through the surgery twice before it was my duty as a friend and because I am a know-it-all I was meant to impart my wisdom of experience.  As I said from the beginning the main reason I write this blog is to share my experiences to make it easier for others.

I know this blog is kind of downer but as my friend Angie pointed out recently sometimes there is crying in life and not everything needs to be hidden behind your smile. You need to let people know it sometimes. This followed by the question, "Now tell me again what you did on a bike?"
That story is for next time.
Goodnight.

The Final Battle

Standing on the hill I was thinking. Dwelling on the fact that this could be it for me. I hadn't even finished the first mile and I am about to be hit by this Zombie who is watching us with eager eyes. "Come my pretty", she saying, which was more of a moan then actual words. As I was planning the actual path I was going to take, and looking at the ground with its ruts and the brush around the trail and thinking how am I going to get around this without hurting myself. When all of sudden I hear from the back of our bunch "1...2...3!" Our makeshift team surged forward, I paused for a second and realized my twin has already taken off. Oh, great, she has left me again. I bounced after her and ended right behind her. She was trying to figure the best way to run around the Zombie without grabbing for her when I came up behind and went to her left, while the Zombie went for her right. And as I flew by her I came up with this one thought. The thought that we don't say out loud because maybe this is the true you and not the nice person that you believe you are. But because I am honest to my readers I will tell you my deep dark secret.

I will not hesitate to use you as a body shield to protect myself from a Zombie war.

And that is what I did to my sister. I let the Zombie go for her as I used her as a body shield, and yes, I ran on.
At the bottom of the hill was a wonderful, beautiful water station signaling the end of the first mile and I still have three flags, and yes, I was getting cocky. After hydrating and ready for the second mile I knew now after a rocky start I really could finish this. I was hurting by now, my knee was killing me from when the eagle landed previously and my hip was starting to remind me that I do have Stage Four Arthritis but I pushed on. There was a maze that I flew through, a couple more fields, which I will now admit that I have lost one flag and I have reached the 2 mile water station. Yea, for me!

The Last Mile
If you all have seen my blog you will notice that I posted a picture with an arrow and the word "hill" on it. This was the first of many of the "hills" on the last mile. I would like to say that I breezed right through, but let me say, no one "breezes" these hills. They are made for dirt road motorcycles that requires wheelies at the top. But I will say that I did make it up the hills without sliding back like everyone else was doing. (Thanks Brooks Trail Running Shoes. Always give credit were credit is due.) It wasn't until I ran into a large Zombie that for the record got a little too friendly by slipping her arms around me to steal my two last flags. I was irritated, but well crap happens. So I ended up helping my team by acting like I had flags and ended up being the body shield for others. (See, always remember to pay it forward) I was walking towards the end of the race now and one of the race photographers was taking pictures, and since I had nothing to lose I stopped in front of the photographer and strike a pose. Ta DA! I stood there as he snapped, and when he was done he said, "here you might need this." He hands me a red flag. (Oh, yes, I found a safety box!) The game was on once again!
Well.. on when I make it up another hill and the three Zombies on top of it. ( By the way, I have no idea where my sister is at this time.) I ran as fast as I could up the hill feeling like I was Ms. Flash Gordon, but the truth is it was probably more like Yertle the Turtle. Which didn't give the Zombie any kind of challenge and I will admit that by the time I was at the top, I just tore the flag off my belt and handed it to him. He smiled.
That was it. That was the last hill now there was a couple of last obstacles to complete and a run down the virus infected shoot and to hose off in freezing water line. But it was done. I was handed the medal, my very first one ever. Let's all say ahhh. But to me this was a great achievement.
I would have never thought in my life that I would complete a 5k obstacle course. I am not naturally athletic nor have I  really been inclined to be so, but when I saw read about this race originally, I was compelled to just do it and I didn't quit. I will never be a marathon runner and I will always have to work harder, but the truth of this is I tried and I succeeded.

See you May 11, 2013
http://www.runforyourlives.com/north-cali-overview-2013/

Really? Zombies?

Hello again. Wow, I make a blog then I leave it for two weeks. Well...you know how it is, working full time, as well as being a parent and wife. Time flies when you think you have forever. I am back now, and as promise let's talk about Zombies. To give you a little background for people who do not know, I am an identical twin. She is truly the other half of me. Where I am a little more down to earth, she is flamboyant in a good way,but we really do make one person. One crazy, emotional person....well that is another subject. Anyway, she and I actually have a quite of bit in common. And even though it could be all the horror movies our mother made us watch when we were younger, we both have this insane fascination with Zombies. Zombies creep me out. When I watch The Walking Dead I really cannot go to bed afterwards because my brain will not shut off from watch I just watched. They freak me out so much that are start playing twenty questions in my head like, what will I do in a Zombie Apocalypse? Will I be the fattie that is caught first? (Oh come on, we have all watched Zombieland. We have all asked this question.) Yes, it is true I do have these thoughts that go through my head. Which leads me back to getting a link from her on Gmail chat saying, "check this out." Run for your lives
OK, her links are always interesting so I could not resist. I click on the link and what pops up is a Zombie head reading, "Run for your Lives 5K obstacle course run". Digging a little further and my eyes widen. Oh my Gosh! In a really weird sort of dream come true moment for me, it reads, the runner has to complete a 5k obstacle course running from Zombies! I made the decision right then, I am going to do it, and I am going to convince my twin to do it too! And I did. The thing is, I do not run. Period. Bad things happen when I run. First, I fall. Second, odd places in my body start hurting. And I am talking about the mysterious tendons that you had no idea a tendon was there in the first place, and that makes life even harder explaining to the Dr. about the pain that is so intense that you are sure you have torn something, but come to find out that it is  tendinitis, again. Folks, I have had tendinitis in so much of body that if you could donate your tendons when you die mine would go in the trash. I digress, the point is that I knew I could do this. Granted, I have never done an obstacle run, but I was convinced, and determined to participate. I am healthly and I just had my hip fixed for the second time and as long as I don't do anything to aggravate the arthritis then I will be fine. I have great logic. (Side note, yes, I am 36 years old and have stage 4 arthritis in my right hip because of the C.P.) But what the hell. Really how much damage could I do. Next blog: Day of the Race.